Goodbye Sweet Girl

Very early years

I debated how much to write about losing Roo and, in the end, decided that my friends expect real emotions to come in this newsletter. So here goes.

My 13.5-year-old Ridgeback mix left us on April 13th. Her hip dysplasia had been progressing for years, and no amount of glucosamine could reverse it. The night before, her legs failed completely. She could no longer walk, and the pain made her pant and throw up.

My dear friend, Kas, helped me place Roo in her vehicle because it sits lower to the ground than my SUV. Bill was on a flight, so I would make this decision on my own. My sweet girl was carried to the back fence, where we waited for the vehicle that would give her one final ride. I’ll never forget the last sad look she gave her little sister, the Boston Terrier, through the fence slats. It was soul-crushing.

Deciding to end her life was brutal but necessary. I cried hard, in wracking sobs, as Kas and I cuddled her and watched the sedative ease Roo’s pain. Her muscles relaxed, and she looked like the puppy I welcomed more than a decade ago. Her time with us wasn’t always easy. Roo was reactive to other dogs, which made the two-a-day walks edgy and her puppy years brought more than one chewed-up futon. Still, she was a stately, gorgeous girl who gave love freely and loyalty beyond measure.

Once you endure the euthanasia process, you have to survive the first walk through the house. Her toys are scattered; her favorite bed (she had several) lies in its usual spot, lined with hair, and the blankets that covered the furniture are no longer needed to protect against Roo’s massive feet and nails. We called them her "shovels." The rooms are still. Sad. And one dog remains, staring out the window where her sister should be.

Making Deliveries with Dad

This is the contract we sign when we agree to care for a pet. We’ll endure this pain because of the years of joy they bring, but man, grief is powerful. It’s an unrelenting inner scream. I’ll be okay, just like I was for Elvis, Mojo, Brandy, and Tugger. 

Hug your babies.