My Favorite Scene from "Breaking"

Although it was labor intensive, I enjoyed revising my first novel "Breaking." Given it was two books ago, several scenes came across as new to me. I'd forgotten the little stuff such as Sandra's obsession with ordering from Amazon and the slow burn romance between Bekka and Brock. I laughed again as I read the chapter where she showed distaste for his machismo in their first encounters. (I worked with a male anchor who inspired the Brock personality, specifically his arrogant but charming wit.) I was taken by the "push and pull" they had for each other which culminated in that first night when Bekka was desperate to release her anger onto a Tinder date and Brock just happened to ring her door bell.

But, of all 69,000 words, the scene that I truly love came after that blistering hot night of sex. It was morning and Brock delivered coffee as Bekka demurely pulled the covers up in shyness. He had his own cup and Bekka's eyes followed the movement to the nightstand where he placed the mug next to her retainer! I hope my words conveyed her immediate revulsion at the sight of her saliva-dried retainer nearly touching Brock's cup. She cringed, praying he didn't see the metal and gum-colored tray, thinking, "I'm so gross." He ignored it and kept the conversation on the murder case until it came time to leave for the police station. That's when he said "Oh, one more thing. Nice retainer." Bekka threw a pillow at him.

During revisions, the original scene still felt good, exactly how I wanted to convey's Bekka's discomfort and embarrassment. I, for one, have certainly experienced similar moments with romantic partners. I'm pretty sure I've burped at the wrong time or had food in my teeth over a candlelight meal. I love the scene because it was real and showed Bekka's vulnerability. Keeping her flaws (minor and not so minor) under a light is a goal in every novel because she's just like us. And honestly, is it truly so disgusting to leave out your retainer when you've just been naked with someone?

Let me know about your own "oops" moment when you hoped the other person didn't see your nasty side. I could use ideas for future intimate scenes.